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Saturday, August 14, 2004

Pre-Nuptial Agreement: Don’t Take It Too Personally…

Although it is already a common thing in western societies, pre-nuptial agreement is hardly ever found in Indonesian or probably eastern culture. Most people say it might hurt the other's feeling (or pride?) as they take it as a form of disbelief in one's commitment and good-will.

I have never thought of pre-nuptial agreement until I saw the enigma in my own family with my very eyes. No, it is not about wealth or how much everyone should get after the divorce. I support pre-nup agreement simply because I've learned a lot in life that most of the times, promises are not enough. Okay, you're promising this to me now and I'm believing in you now. Then again, is that a guarantee that both of us will stay just the same after the next five, ten, or perhaps twenty years of marriage?

Everything changes. And so do people. You might mean what you're saying now. But will you, tomorrow? Peter Cetera whines about this melancholy in Will You Still Love Me, by the way.

I don't know much about law but I'm pretty sure my pre-nup agreement would not only consist of numbers. For me, pre-nup agreement is a form of "punishing" someone if she/he harms the other person in one way or another (as both have mutually stated in the agreement previously). However, since it is quite hard for laws to punish people "psychologically", the most common way is to involve "material" things—such as the split of wealth. Probably this is why some people despise pre-nup agreement as they tend to think it is all about the money.

So why don't we start off a different thing now? For example, if your husband/wife is caught having an explicit affair, have him/her worked as a social worker in an orphanage for at least a year. Come on, just let your imagination leads you to find unique punishment. :)


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